March is more than half over and I haven’t updated this blog. Oh well. To keep things positive I will remind myself that I am at least getting to it before March is completely over.
Before I get to what I consider the most important bit, I’m just going to write a bit about what I’ve been doing creatively for the past month or so. I embarked upon a 100 Days Challenge in which I intended to draw a face/portrait every day until I reach 100 faces drawn. There is an official 100 Days Challenge and it happens every year. I began mine on the proper day, but… I don’t want to say I fizzled out, because I do intend to pick it back up, but let’s just say that I have drawn a total of 9 faces and the challenge is currently on day… 26? I think? I never publicized it anywhere because it wasn’t something that I wanted to stress me out if I didn’t have anything I felt comfortable showing off or if I did exactly as I did and dropped the ball a bit. The thing about a dropped ball, though, is that you can pick it right back up. I can keep going until I get to 100 faces drawn and it doesn’t matter if I do it in 100 consecutive days. The point of the exercise, for me, is to improve at drawing faces/portraits and I actually think I am? Maybe? I’ll share some of them once I’ve gotten more under my belt. One thing I continually do not do, though, despite telling myself over and over to do it, is use a reference photo. I don’t know why. I guess it’s mostly laziness and not wanting to deal with that first step of actually finding a reference. So, I still want to add that to the mix.
In stitching news, I finished up another cloudburst hoop, which I was very pleased with. I absolutely love creating floofy, puffy, 3-d textured clouds, so these cloudburst hoops have become a dedicated section in my shop. I will definitely be making more and exploring new ways to make them.
I sketched up two designs to add to my “mindless” hoop/pattern that I wrote about last time. One features a woman’s head kind of opening up as if on hinges, revealing a planet and a shooting star inside, with the text “space case” written above her head. The other one will be called “airhead” and I’ll show you that when I’ve gotten more of it completed. This series of three will be called “Zenheads.”
And the last bit of stitching I have been working on leads right into my most important update. I had been working on (and I finished) this design:
The above is a photo of the second time I stitched this design and it is a bit of an improvement as I tweaked a few things. And I like it, but here is the thing. I created this design and this hoop as a part of my goal of creating 12 patterns this year. And, as it turns out, I had to have a heart-to-heart with myself about making patterns.
Look, I have expressed a lot of ambivalence about making patterns from the very start. But I have pushed through it and continued on, telling myself that the problem was simply that I didn’t have enough experience with it and that’s why I was feeling a kind of drag and weight when I tried to make them. I figured once I streamlined the process enough—once I had my format down and could simply plug in the correct words or photos, I’d be fine. Well, it turns out that wasn’t the case.
I was in the middle of writing this Stitch by Stitch pattern and had made some good progress when, a few mornings ago, I woke up with a migraine that laid me out for much of the day. With nothing much else to do, my mind began to circle around some of the things it likes to circle around, a big one being my creativity and my business (and by the way, can I just say how deeply uncomfortable it makes me feel to say “my business”? I feel like such a damn fraud, especially since, as it stands, my “business” doesn’t even really pay for itself). And I felt like I was hitting a wall every time I came up against the pattern question.
I just don’t think I want to make them.
I want to focus on making finished pieces, selling them, and improving my art in embroidery and non-embroidery ways. I will acknowledge that there is a small voice that pops up in my head that says, “Maybe you will want to make them later! Don’t rule it out!” (That voice is immediately followed by the voice of my mother saying, “Don’t be so wishy-washy, Stephanie!” I miss my mom so much, but she does live rent free in my head, so there’s that.)
For now, I’ve decided to back away from the pattern making. For the Stitch by Stitch pattern, I plan on offering it on my Ko-fi as a free (pay what you want, but 0 is okay) pattern, with only the transfer design and no instructions. There are a few tricky parts, but I have video of almost all of it that I could link to. And who’s to say that my way of approaching the stitching of each element is the only possible way? (You know, I think this is a huge part of the problem I have with writing patterns in the first place—I feel weird telling people how to do things.) For the series of what I’m calling Zenheads—since one of them already has a pattern, it will feel odd to not make patterns for the following two, but I haven’t really decided whether to make those patterns for purchase or just do as I will do for the Stitch by Stitch pattern and offer them for free. I’ll have to think about that.
As for the patterns I already have, they will continue to remain available in my shop. I have tweaked the prices of those up and down over the time that I’ve had them, never really figuring out what was best. I’m lowering them all to $5 (4 for the simple one) and they will each have to reach a yearly threshold of sales to stay in the shop (haven’t decided on that number yet).
And in the meantime I am going to focus on the things that I truly want to focus on. At least until I feel like I need to have another heart-to-heart with myself. I do find that my creative journey requires near constant recalibrating when it comes to figuring out my own path, which is kind of a bummer, but I guess that’s just how it is.
Again, if you made it this far, thanks for reading! And if you’d like 10% off in my shop, my new code is: ZENHEADS49
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